The R rated Flight
Dear Economy Class- Seat 30A & 30B,
If you are reading this - consider it a polite and cordial Public Service Announcement , or as many of us know it - PSA.
It’s February. That’s a fact.
And Yes, Valentine’s Day is around the corner.
Perhaps you two are newly weds? High school sweethearts?
Regardless- we get it. You're madly in love. But for the love of GOD can you please not make-out / be on top of each other through the duration of this 9 hour flight?!
I feel like this is a high school lunch break all over again! Or worse middle school.
And as the lucky seat 30C - our shoulders touched. While you two were eating each others faces off. Making this the most uncomfortable flight I have ever been on- that I even had to write about it. Because I was about to use the vomit bag.
Oh and before I continue, I very much am romantic myself! When I am in love, I am In. Love. Public Display of Affection (PDA) is a wonderful way to express ones love. But I strongly believe in public manners and common curtesy to say the least… or just being aware of my surroundings? However seat 30A & 30B were in their own world.
For crying out loud we are on a budget economy class airlines - with no room for much movement. And I am here, next to you two, feeling like I need to use the emergency exits. Because boy, did i feel like I was in your bedroom and I needed out.
I’m not sure how both of you were raised, but there are common “inflight” ground rules that usually do not need to be addressed by the lovely flight attendants.
I think most of us can agree that :
#1 is - Do not clap when the plane has landed. If you do- Well, I'm sorry for your family sitting next to you.
And a close
#2 is- if you're planning on joining the ’”Sky High Club” that isn’t a public matter. So please- refrain from saliva exchanges while I'm right next to you.
But wait! The best part is - both passengers were complaining about the crying baby a few rows ahead!! ?/! ! ! !
Now let’s rewind that thought.
A. its a baby
B. its a baby
Not much you can do ! I was dumbfounded sitting next to these lovebirds..
Now, I usually never rant about other travelers / passengers, but this was a whole new level of inflight PDA. My very own 3D ‘romantic’ movie. Oh and get this- I still had 7 hours to go.. I didn't know this was an audition for ‘Genesis Book of World Records Longest Kiss’… Well, glad I was a part of it.
Go ahead, be in love. Be that travel couple.. But there is a line between classy and sloppy, especially in a pubic setting..
Therefore, to future traveling lovebirds- Remember, this isn't your private jet. I am here sitting right next to you and have no place to go. ( I can only use the WC so many times before the flight attendant gets suspicious..)
An unforgettable experience would be too kind say…but i guess that’s what happens to solo travelers... You wind up with that awkward seat and there’s nothing you can really do about it.
So to my lovely seats 30A & 30B, I better get invited to the wedding- because I have never felt so close to a couple ever before. I wish you all the best.
-The Modern Pilgrim
Flight WW 174 Seat 30C.